Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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