There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
