We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
