erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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