Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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