so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
