Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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