somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
