We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
