It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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