His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize