you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
