I'm lost and stupid without you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
