Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
