I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
