Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize