hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
