By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
