wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
