I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize