Who wears a wallet chain?!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
