no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Two words: blizzard sex
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
the raccoons are back...
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