I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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