I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
