Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so let's talk penis.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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