How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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