was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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