Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
