just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This is my gift to your gina
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
