and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
