I want to have your abortion
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
