just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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