Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
