It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
