I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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