I got chris browned last night
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
