If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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