what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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