my vag is so smooth its legendary
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
