I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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