Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
