hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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