i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
