I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
