there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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