Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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