I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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