Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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