I hope mine doesn't look like that
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I would fuck him just for his dog
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
