the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
