come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
