yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
