just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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