it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
