I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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