just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
