He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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