I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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