And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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