a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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