I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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